Diagnostics

The night I actually met Seth was horrible. The drive home was awkward and quiet. Luke kept looking at me worriedly whenever we stopped at a red light. And we seemed to be stopping at every freaking red light. I was determined not to look at him because my level of annoyance had reached that part where one jostle and I could cry. I felt violated for some reason. And to think I had been so excited to meet Seth that day.

When we reached my apartment building, Luke ran out to open my door for me but I didn’t wait to let him. I opened the door on my own and hurriedly fished my keys out of my purse. I just wanted to get out of there and let out my tears. It was so difficult keeping them in. I needed a good two or three sobs, for God’s sake, and I blame it partly on the hormones.

“Hey, talk to me,” Luke had said quietly as I was busy trying to unlock the building door. “We said we won’t shut down on each other,” he said before I pushed the door open and went inside. I had no reply. I knew he wanted to come into the building when I saw his eyes, but he let me shut the door.

Anne was furious at Seth the moment I recounted to them what happened over lunch the following Monday. “Okay, did you really just tell me he was thirty? Because I don’t believe you right now.”

Carmen seemed to be calculating what she was about to say. And Olive was simply dumbstruck. I hadn’t really wanted to bother them with stupid stuff, especially since we all had mountains of notes to pore over. But I simply couldn’t figure out whatever it was I did wrong, and I needed some consult.

I hadn’t talked to Luke yet, either. He hasn’t called since he dropped me off and I closed the door on his face. I was secretly hoping he’d magically appear out of nowhere, trying his best to pacify me and figure out what was wrong, but it was radio silent between us over the weekend.

I knew how it was so totally juvenile for me to give him the cold shoulder (and suspect that Luke was doing the same), but I didn’t exactly know how I could communicate to him effectively about how his “perfect” brother was simply rude and how he didn’t stand up for me when I expected him to. (Even I thought the latter statement sounded way too demanding from a girlfriend of a mere one week.)

“There has got to be a reason why Luke’s brother was like that. You said Casey herself told you he was just being protective,” Carmen said over the incomprehensible mutterings Anne was doing. “Let’s get our facts straight here. You are a medical student. Luke’s family is basically made up of doctors with apparently sparkling practices and huge connections. You have only been dating Luke four weeks and he’s already arranged for you to meet his family, basically, a week after you went exclusive. Something in that storyline must have sent his danger warnings through the roof. Although, that’s one big paranoid person, if you ask me.” She finished with a meaningful look towards me.

I was speechless. I never thought of it that way. “So let’s say Seth thinks I am a social climber to his brother’s alternative medical connections. Why would he, though? I never even knew half of Luke’s family were doctors until after we decided to be exclusive!”

We all fell silent at that. It would have looked stupid if a stranger looked in on us. We were literally brainstorming over a guy the way we normally would do a difficult diagnostic case. Rule this in, rule this out. The best diagnosis must explain everything the patient has…

“Wait,” Olive said after a while. “You said something about bumping into Dr. Anderson. And the residency offer.” She literally looked like she just discovered fire.

“Oh come on, that was clearly a joke. That could not have been tacked negatively on me! At any rate, that should have made me look better!”

“No, no. I get where Olive’s coming from,” Carmen butted in. “But we can’t ever know for sure by just sitting here. You need to talk to Luke.”

“I can’t,” I answered petulantly, forking a piece of pasta pointlessly.

“Why not?” Anne suddenly asked, coherently this time.

“’Cause I told you, we’re not talking.” I knew I sounded like a kid. And it wasn’t a half hour later when they managed to put some sense into me and convinced me to reach out to Luke. I had decided I’d call him later for coffee. I was planning on studying out after class anyway.

I spent the last class getting anxious about having some serious talk with Luke. I was pretty sure by dismissal that I would be back at square one on that topic by the time I got home. I have never been a fan of serious talks because I have a tendency to not think and get carried away by my emotions that word vomit usually happens. And to know that one was lingering right around the corner was enough to weigh on my heart heavily.

I was delaying on calling Luke. I had decided I’d call him once I got out of the building. So naturally, I was postponing having to leave the building after class had ended. But Anne and Olive saw right through me and dragged me to the elevator.

Turns out I didn’t have to call. I saw Luke leaning on a column at the lobby once the elevator doors opened. He was still wearing his uniform and it was already past six. I had forgotten I already handed him my schedule. Our eyes immediately caught each other’s and my heart began pounding. Here goes…

Anne and Olive said goodbye the minute Luke walked up to me. I have to admit I considered following them out of the building for a second. But that wouldn’t get me some progress, would it?

“Hey,” I greeted him awkwardly. He leaned in for a kiss on the cheek and I let him. It was… restrained.

“I’m just gonna say it, okay?” he started assertively with his hands stuffed in his pockets. “I don’t know if you still wanna see me or talk to me, but I’ve given you your space and it was hard to do that but I did, and I think I deserve at least a moment for you to let us discuss what happened.” He was panting by the end of his sentence. He clearly thought this through. And I have postponed thinking about anything. Something’s definitely wrong with the stereotypes we’re playing, I thought mindlessly.